Transitions, pt. 3

This, of course, is an idealistic view which I have taken. Thank the world that I'm still a bit of an idealist. Daniel Bell, in his 1960 book The End of Ideology, declared my idealism dead. But he was wrong. Despite all that I have learned in my 27 years, the good, the bad and the ugly, I still believe in the inherent good nature of the world and its inhabitants. It is this belief that has waxed and waned throughout my life, giving me both hope and despair. It has sometimes seemed to me as if there is no hope for good to prevail for the large part of the world. When looking at the larger governmental and institutional structures of the world, it is often hard to see any hope. But through my involvement in the volunteer community, I have renewed hope for the future of our world. I have met hard-working people of all ages who do not seek personal reward for efforts that are much more valuable than those which pay. This is work that touches the lives of people from all walks of life and asks for nothing in return. It is also this work that has changed my life forever.

As I said before, it all started with my involvement in the Southern Girls Rock and Roll Camp in Murfreesboro. This camp brings girls ages 10-18 from all over the state together for a week-long day camp to learn about playing rock and roll. They also learn how to form a band, screen printing, zine making (self-published magazines), recording, and much more. Most importantly, the young women learn self respect and that they rock! The week is closed with a bang during the live showcase. Each band gets a few minutes in the spotlight up on stage in front of their parents, peers and area media outlets. This gives them the experience of being in a real band. For the volunteers in the camp, an overwhelming feeling of pride and sadness at the end of camp comes from this event. It is also a recruitment tool. It worked on me. I first saw the SGRRC showcase in July of 2005. My brother and many friends volunteered for the camp and I attended the showcase at the end of the week as well as a private Indigo Girls show for the girls during the week. I was floored by what I experienced the night of the showcase and told myself that I wouldn't miss the next year's camp for anything in the world. I made that promise that night and I kept it. That was the best decision I've ever made.

Enter Rock and Roll Camp 2006. I volunteered to assist in teaching screen printing, filling in as an extra body in instrument lessons and as a band manager. All during the week, the girls exhibited a passion to learn as much as they could. This eagerness has a way of giving an extra charge to the volunteers, working over 40 hours during the week for only the experience. During the week of camp is when I first got to know Kelley. She is good friends with another friend of mine, Anna. I previously assisted Anna with her work with Students for Environmental Åction (SEA) on MTSU's campus and she probably recommended me to Kelley in some way. I am an individual who is always eager to help where needed, I only as for direction and a bit of prodding.

At the end of the week, Kelley asked me if I'd like to attend a committee meeting for a new organization that she was starting, the YCAC. She told me a bit about it and I agreed to check it out. Little did I know that it would lead to this great change in me. After one or two meetings, I was nominated by Kelley to act as Chair of the YCAC committee and was approved by the rest of the group. Needless to say, I had absolutely zero experience with this sort of operation, but she shepherded me through my transition into leading meetings and drawing up agendas. During this time, I was still in school. A political science major, I think. I didn't want to commit myself too much, so I stuck to leading the committee and letting the other members spearhead fundraisers and recruitment. I didn't realize it until later, but this was my first experience with a concrete form of self-governance. However, when I did realize this fact, it send my head spinning with ideas concerning where this could lead myself and the organization.

to be continued...

Transitions, part 2

This is one of the reasons that I moved away from the D.C. metro area in January of 2004. If Washington wouldn't listen to me from 30 miles away, it could not listen to me from 600 miles away in Murfreesboro, TN as well. The real reason that I left northern Virginia though is because that area is overcrowded, too high-paced and required driving too much. I made approximately $37000 in my last year with Old Navy before moving and didn't have much left over after living and auto expenses. My move to Tennessee was predicated by several visits to see my brother. I liked the people that I met, the fact that we mostly walked where we went and most of all, I love the thunder storms here. They are wonderful!

After a year of working at a book factory in Middle Tennessee and driving an hour round-trip every day, I decided that it was time for me to return to college. This past stint was my third time returning to the university setting and I was eager to learn in a structured environment again. I quit my job, almost a year to the day after accepting it, dropped the car, bought a bike and a laptop. I haven't looked back since, except to drop out of school yet again this fall.

In the year that I worked at the book factory, I read a ton of books, about 50. I studied some economics, political science, history and wound down with some nice fiction like Frank Herbert's Dune series. I listened to NPR every day of the week and subscribed to the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal to keep up with current affairs. I still love NPR but I listen to the news much less these days. By the time that I returned to college at Middle Tennessee State University (MTSU), I thought that I knew the basics of every field of study that was important to me. I was pretty much right. Intro classes to economics, political science and history bored the heck out of me, but I stuck with it. For example, in my macro economics class, I attended about 8 times the whole semester. I had the blessing of my professor because I aced the first test. I also aced the class. The subsequent semesters were less tiresome and more challenging.

Earlier, I mentioned Dr. Franklin. I first met him in American Government and Politics. I wasn't looking forward to this class, but Dr. Franklin has a fresh way of teaching his courses. He brought in many articles specific to what we were learning and made the material relevant to current events. The class was more informative than I would have expected and quite enjoyable. That and I got a B! I left the class looking forward to another opportunity to learn with Dr. Franklin. That opportunity came in the fall of 2006 and a class called Special topics in Political Science: A Survey of Social Movements.

By this time, I had gone from an Economics major to Political Science. Not the first change of major that I had made and certainly not the last. This survey class took us through the major and minor social movements of the world in the past century to today. We studied movements, violent and non-violent; large-scale and small. They took place in Venezuela, the United States, China, Northern Africa and more. Through this class I learned that social change is possible, challenging and dangerous depending upon the nature of your government. I learned that there really is something called 'people power' and that it could take down racist institutions and fight back against oppressive governments. Through this class I learned that I could have a positive effect upon my country without being a politician or one of the rich and powerful. Co-incidentally, the following semester, spring 2007, was when I became involved in the YCAC; an organization that gave me a whole picture of the power of community and the average person. People power!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE IN THE
NOT-SO-EXCITING SAGA
OF THE DROP-OUT
WHO NEVER STOPS LEARING

Transitions, part 1

I am writing this story for a long overdue paper.
Please follow along with me as I take a journey from an unsuspecting, uninformed 21 year-old
to a person with a mission in life.
Though I'm still probably horribly uninformed,
my life now has direction.
I hope to share how I got where I am
and to show you a different way of looking at the world.
Please enjoy, and comment frequently.

It all started with my friend Kelley Anderson inviting me to a meeting of the Youth Culture and Arts Center's (YCAC) organizing committee and a dedicated professor named Dr. Franklin. Kelley told me of her idea to start an after-school arts program for local kids and I immediately fell in love. Dr. Franklin showed me that there are many ways to change your world, even more than I can recount. A top ten complaint of teachers, administrators, parents and students for a long time has been that that there aren't enough arts programs in the schools and the community. For a long time I have complained about this when discussing the state of public education in America. Finally I was presented with a way to change this. Here is our mission statement: "The mission of the YCAC is to provide a safe and positive atmosphere for young people to create and experience the arts. The YCAC will help build character in our youth by providing positive role models and access to the tools and technology used in various art disciplines. While focusing on programs for young people, the YCAC will also serve as a community and arts resource for people of all ages."

I was brought in at the very beginning of the organization and quickly was nominated and approved to chair the organizing committee. During my one year term I learned how to prepare agendas, lead meetings and encourage others to voice their ideas. The biggest challenge though has been to get individuals to show up for meetings. I was also made a member of the board of directors for Youth Empowerment through Arts and Humanities (YEAH). This organization the umbrella non-profit and fundraising arm for the Southern Girls Rock and Roll Camp (SGRRC) and the YCAC. Through these experiences, my world-view has been completely redirected; from federal politics to local and state. All in the span of two years. In this paper, I hope to show that focusing our energies on our communities, instead of at the federal government, can change the outlook of every individual and bring back significance to millions of disenchanted Americans. I believe that if I can show this to enough people, our local governments will be empowered to wrest back control of important issues from the states and federal government. I believe that in doing this we can make our country whole and respected in the world again. This is the story of an awakening, followed by another awakening and so ad infinitum.

I have one thing, and one thing only to thank George W. Bush for; his war on the country of Iraq woke me up to politics. In the 2000 election, I actually voted for him. I didn't know a thing about his politics and background. I merely listened to what my parents said about him and did the same. One year later, the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were dive-bombed by airliners, supposedly piloted by Arab extremists angry at my country for our relations with the Middle East. Of course, that was not what I was told by any member of our government. They said that the 'terrorists' hated us because we had too many 'freedoms' and because we are perfect. At the time, I still didn't have a clue. I watched the towers fall 651,504,657,504 times, felt sad and then went on with my life almost as if nothing had happened. The one active thing that I did was to stick up for dark-skinned people who I witnessed being lambasted at local gas stations. Of course, most of them were usually Indian, not Arabs, not Muslims. Regardless, returning soldiers told them that they "just got back from blowing the #*%& out of your kind" and regular Joes generally said "*$^( off" to them. In retort, after making a joke about how they weren't even Arab, I always told the offended person that they were welcome in my country at any time.

I did not take offense to the invasion of Afghanistan shortly after 9-11. I believed then that it was our duty to clean out the riff-raff so that we could get on with our "peaceful" American existence. Now, I don't even know if the invasion of Afghanistan was justified. Nevertheless, it wasn't until late in 2002 when Mr. Bush started spouting rhetoric about the innocent country of Iraq, that I started to take notice of our wrongs. I started picking up the Washington Post on an almost daily basis, reading the justifications given by our President, wondering why this poor, beat up country was being targeted by us. Why was a country, starved by sanctions and still bombed, even though the official war against them was over, being target for the biggest war since Vietnam. Of course, at the time we were told that we'd be in and out, welcomed as 'liberators'. We'd leave behind a wonderful democracy and bring capitalism to the heart of the Middle East. We now know that to be untrue. Every day I screamed at the top of my lungs that we should not carry out this misguided action. Regrettably, though only 30 miles away from me, Washington did not hear my cries. And the rest, as they say, is history.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I Not You, Not I

Otherside Otherside Otherside Otherside
Othersdie Othersdie Othersdie
I want the greener otherside
even if the others die
I'd like the sweeter waters
my dream is worth a life

but not my life, if you take that from me
there will be no otherside
it will not be the others died, but me
anything, anything to stretch mine longer
even if to shorten that of the other
to make mine better

I will lie for it,
cheat and steal
i will preach the suffering and guilt of the other
if it will lighten my suffering
but does it have to be suffering?

I will give more suffering than I receive
then I will be blessed, lucky
destined to attract
if only I could feel better about myself
that'd do the trick

I'll look in the mirror every day
speak words of wisdom
I am sexy, I am attractive
I am special, I am loved
I... I... I...

otherside othersdie
I want to die for the otherside
I want to make their day a better one
lift them up in front of the sun
praise them to god as i rise up to heaven
or not or not

If they're to die, why not I
If they want dead persons
does it matter whom?
returning to the dust
at least that's usually how it works

not to say I'm an expert but
whether tomorrow or ten years or forty
I'm bound to die sometime

obey your instincts
a lack of understanding leads to fear
leads to hate, murder and war
and nothing too nice
are you getting the picture?

to encourage these things is unacceptable
to aid these instinctual drives is against
or with the natural way
but how do you decide?

you don't decide
I don't decide
it can't be controlled
to attempt to control
it brings only more pain and suffering
oh but how it does

there is no answer
or there is no answer, there
is it acceptable to live our lives as beasts?
maybe more natural than before thought

will it lead to anything constructive?
probably not
but I guess that's the point isn't it?
I'm not too sure we're capable of that
pretty close but so far away
give it some time
I'll bet we'll still not get it yet